Fantasizing about images or scenarios you find sexually arousing is a normal, healthy part of your sex life. In our imaginations, we can fulfill our every secret desire, something most people
never do in real life.

Am I Normal?

Many times, we explore in fantasy acts we might be reluctant to really perform, which can be exhilarating. Take Wendy's story:

When I'm masturbating, I can't climax unless I fantasize about being taken by two men at once. I would never do this in real life, and I don't know why I become so aroused by the idea of double penetration. Am I normal?

Wendy, 38

Wendy is just as normal as the next person! Because she fantasizes about something she would not be comfortable actually doing, she has made the act of double-penetration taboo to her, and therefore incredibly stimulating.

You might fantasize about exotic sexual positions, spanking, anal play, bondage, sex with women these are all exciting, erotic acts, so take pleasure in your pleasure and enjoy your fantasies, no matter how naughty hey are.

Am I Boring?

Not every sexual fantasy involves whips and chains! Some women become aroused by imagining romance and the simple act of lovemaking.

In my favorite fantasy, my lover slowly strips my clothing from me, kisses every inch of my skin, and then licks my nipples until I scream with pleasure. I know that other women's fantasies are much more exciting, but this simple scenario really works for me. I don't care if I'm boring!

Stephanie, 26

Don't worry that your fantasies don't compare with other women's. If you feel aroused imagining gentle kisses on your throat, that's perfectly fine. Remember, your fantasies are your own, and you don't have to explain them to anyone. If your fantasies are like Stephanie's, you might consider nipple clamps, which will focus erotic sensations on your nipples.

My Fantasies are Wild!

Although fantasies can be as simple as imaging a lover's touch or the sensation of being anally penetrated, many fantasies are as complex as a novel.

In my fantasy, I am dressed in a ruffled nightgown and sleeping in a beautiful, luxurious bed that is draped with gauzy fabric. I wake up when I feel a hand over my mouth; when I open my eyes, I'm looking into the face of a man dressed like a swarthy pirate, wearing fitted black pants and an open shirt that reveals a smooth, muscular chest. As he begins to make love to me, I struggle, trying to preserve my honor, but his kisses and caresses overpower me, until I'm responding as ardently to his touch as if he'd seduced me like a gentleman. I come when he enters me.

Deanna, 45

Studies have shown that men are more aroused by images, like sexy magazines and pornographic movies, and women by erotic stories. If you'd like to spice up your fantasies with a little drama, try reading a naughty book. You might be surprised where your mind travels!

Acting Out Your Fantasies

If you'd like to share a fantasy with your partner, acting out that fantasy can spice up a lukewarm relationship. Talk with your partner and make sure he or she is amenable. You may want to agree on a safe word or phrase, which you or your partner can say if either of you feels the fantasy has gone too far. Select a word you normally wouldn't say, such as microwave or patio furniture.

If you don't want to share your fantasy with anyone, you can still act out your secret pleasures in real life. For example, if you fantasize about anal sex but aren't ready to try it with another person, consider using an anal plug when you masturbate. If you fantasize about bondage, try wearing leather panties. By using a vibrator or dildo, you can simulate the sensations you want to keep in the privacy of your mind, taking your fantasies to a whole new level.